Lent: 3/30/09
Before I begin today’s meditation, I would like to offer a few housekeeping notes and questions.
First of all, you are not missing any of the posted meditations. I have been ill for the past week. I had a sinus infection that cleared up nicely, but the antibiotics caused me to have some significant stomach problems. This combined with an exhaustive schedule caused me to miss a few days. I am sorry for the inconvenience, but I thank you for e-mails checking up with me in recent days.
Second, it has been suggested that I post a text version of the weekly sermons from Pleasant Grove in addition to the audio podcast. Do you think that this would be helpful to you or allow more people to access the sermons each week. As I often preach from a sentence or paragraph outline, I would have to do a little fleshing out of the written version prior to posting. This is not a major problem and I would be happy to do it if enough people are interested.
Third, there has been some interest in continuing the daily meditations beyond the current season of Lent. I have considered spending each week focusing on the Scripture Lessons for the coming Sunday. This would allow you an opportunity to encounter and begin wrestling with the Lessons prior to hearing them in Worship on Sunday morning. I would welcome your feedback and insights to construct a better and more responsive and relevant sermon each week. This might allow each of us an opportunity to participate in Worship on a deeper level each week. I request your input in this decision. Should we decide to continue I would like for you to invite more people to join us. You are welcome to forward the daily reminders to anyone that you think might enjoy them and they are welcome to e-mail me with the word “subscribe” in the subject line. I have been surprised and overwhelmed by the responses and stories that have been shared with me these past days and I am humbled that God has chosen to uses these little messages to do so much.
Finally, there have been several questions regarding Spiritual gifts. There is a free online survey that may help in the early stages of discerning and discovering our unique gifts for building up the Church. if you are interested you can follow this link http://www.umc.org/site/c.lwL4KnN1LtH/b.1355371/k.9501/Spiritual_Gifts.htm or go to www.umc.org and search for “Spiritual Gifts”.
Thank you for all your participation over the past few weeks. May God continue to bless you in the difficult days to come. -John
March 30, 2009
Exodus 4:10-26
1 Corinthians 14:1-19
Mark 9:30-41
“How I Learned to Sing in Church”
Then the Lord said to him, “Who gives speech to mortals? Who makes them mute or deaf, seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you are to speak.” – Exodus 4:11-12
Over the past few weeks, I have noticed as different laypersons have struggled with their feelings of inadequacy while sharing with others in various functions in my congregations. The problem was not in their preparedness. There was no lack of understanding or passion. There was no lack of willingness to offer what had been laid on their hearts. There was no intimidation in the situation itself, they were among friends in their home church and each time they knew that they had my complete confidence, admiration and trust. And yet there it was, stealing the words from their lips and causing them to second guess themselves and the words they were called to share. I’m not certain anyone else noticed this happening as every second seemed to stretch into infinity, but I notice because I have been there myself. I notice because this is a pain that most of us share. So to comfort those who do not feel equipped or qualified to fulfill the roles that we are called to for the sake of the church and to encourage others who have felt the nudge into leadership in areas that seem strange or intimidating I will share a personal experience.
It was the first Sunday in the first church of my first appointment. I had spent weeks carefully crafting what I though was going to be one of the most important sermons of my career. I had agonizingly toiled over each prayer. For better or worse I was ready, or so I thought.
Nervous as I was I arrived at the church early and promptly lost my breakfast in the woods behind the church. But I was able to regain my composure and turned my thoughts to the service that would begin in twenty minuets. In order to acquaint myself with a congregation that I had only briefly meet and had never worshiped with, and to familiarize myself with their style of worship, and probably to make conversation I asked a few questions of the ten or so that had begun to gather.
“So, who prepares the bulletins for each Sunday morning?”, I asked.
“You do, Preacher.” was the immediate response.
I had in fact prepared a bulletin for that morning and was at least a little ahead of things so far.. so I continued…
“So who selects the hymns each week?”
“You do, Preacher.”
At this point I started to get a little more nervous that before.
“ Who makes the announcements and leads the congregational prayers?”
“You do, Preacher.”
Do you see where this is going?
“And who leads the singing?”, I asked through lips that had become much too dry with a tongue that was far too wet. Can anybody guess their answer?
“You do, Preacher.”
Hoping to display a certain level of professionalism and self-confidence I remember nodding my head in a very strange and mechanical quasi-thoughtful way as a disconnected voice came from my throat and said, “Very well then.”
I quickly took my seat in the chancel area and soon the pianist began to play the prelude. I looked up at the congregation and saw their faces. The expressions were of curiosity and intense anticipation. “Quite understandable,” I thought to myself. “They are about to have the first real contact with the new pastor.” My mind went racing through all the questions and possibilities and hopes that they might be experiencing in that moment as we sat looking at each other. I too began to get excited with the event that is the first Sunday with a new pastor. Until, it really hit me for the first time. “I’m the new Pastor!” “They are looking at me!” “They are expecting we to get up in a few minutes and lead the first worship service in this new chapter of this church!” “They expect me to give the announcements, lead the prayers, preach the Gospel…THEY EXPECT ME TO SING!!!!!”
I was prepared for just about anything that morning but that! I had come from a small church myself and I had watched the Pastors lead all the different parts of a worship service over the years, but there had always been a Worship Leader. Even in the tiniest of churches there had been someone to lead the congregational singing, but not here and not today there was no one but me. They never taught us about this in seminary! And to make matters worse I am not a strong singer or a good singer or an in tune singer or an in time singer or any kind of singer but bad, awful and worse.
As the pianist begins the chorus of the prelude (Revive Us Again), I had an urgent conversation with God. I am not claiming to have a hotline to the Almighty or supposing that this sort of thing happens all the time, but in that moment God and I had a conversation. Maybe it was a memory from Scripture or just a special grace in that moment, but this is the actual conversation that occurred in my soul in those last few seconds of extreme terror…
“THEY WANT ME TO SING!”
“AND”
“and? and ? I can’t sing is what!”
“Do you have breath and voice?”
“yes, of course but…”
“Who gave you that breath and voice?”
“You did, but you aren’t understanding…THEY WANT ME TO SING!”
“Who are you really singing for and to and about?”
“You, but..”
“I gave you the breath and the voice, use it.”
“But I am not a singer!”
“Do you remember all the pictures that your mother use to hang up that you painted?”
“Yes, but…”
“Are you a painter?”
“No, but…”
“You were to her. Because you made them for her. Because you loved her. They were the most beautiful paintings in the world.”
“Maybe, but…”
“Sing with all your heart, with all your might, with all your soul, and with all your strength and that will be enough.”
“Isn’t there someone else?!? Please?
“My grace is sufficient. Sing.”
So I sang that morning louder and harder that I had ever sung in my life in front of people who were practically strangers in a place I had never really been before. The more I sang, the louder and easier it came, even when the majority of the congregation chose not to join in. They had neglected to tell me that they did not feel comfortable singing in church, as they were not good singers. But none of that seemed to matter in the moment. As I sang I heard the voices of my youth joining we in song. I heard Kirby and Mark and Victor and Nancy and many others. Each taking the lead on what was “their song” in my memories. I was not alone. They were with me and God was with me. All I had to do was sing along and try to follow and harmonize with these voices from my past. And so I sang. I sang with all that I was and much to my surprise, nobody laughed or walked out or died.
Following the service there we a few comments about the sermon. There were the pleasant remarks that one would expect a new preacher to hear on the first Sunday at a new charge. But surprisingly someone actually asked me “Where did you learn to sing like that! I have never heard such passion and genuineness in our church before.” I told her that I learned to sing like that right here and just now. She laughed as if I had just made a joke.
Another thing that they forgot to tell me was that the pianist only came twice a month. So the next week I got to sing a selection of solos (but I was not completely alone). Nobody laughed or walked out or died, but someone cried not from pain, but because God was using my efforts to touch them in their soul.
To this day I cannot sing well. But I never hesitate to use what I have to worship God. I never hesitate to offer my breath and voice in the service of the One who places a song in my heart. I never fear leading God’s people in singing God’s praise. Nobody has ever laughed or walked out or died.
Today let us consider the things that God is calling you to do. His grace is sufficient for you too. Do your best, and trust God to make up the difference. You will be surprised what God can do through, in and with you if you are willing to try.
Let us pray…
God of Love and Grace,
I will follow the path that you have placed before me,
if you show me the way and walk beside me.
I will share the message that you give me,
if you give me the words and breath.
I will sing of your greatness in the presence of the great congregation,
as long as I have life in my body and breath in my lungs.
I will busy my hands with the work of your Kingdom,
as long as you guide them in their tasks.
And when my journey is complete,
the message is delivered,
the final breath is drawn from my lungs,
and my hands are forever still…
it will have all been done for you. AMEN.
